Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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