is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm eating all of the evidence.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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