Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize