pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize