I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think your dad took our porno
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
