Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
