its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
