I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize