I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
