but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
