definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
