the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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