They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
