VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
