Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize