no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
