Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
