id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
