How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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