I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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