if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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