My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize