Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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