I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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