Kiss
Puke
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
