I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
