Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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