Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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