Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
my poor anus
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
