guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
