I puked a lego.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
