this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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