you guys were way drunker than both of me
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
