I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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