I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
