I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
