Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
