i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
