I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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