Even the bartender felt bad for me
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
