so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
