I heard we made out
Pants 0. Shit 1.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
