he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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