So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
