She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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