Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
