I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
