At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
