How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
