Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
