what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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