so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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