Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
