you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Randomize
