i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
