Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
