i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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