i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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