So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
