He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
