so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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