Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
