if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize