sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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