he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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