Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
