Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
